Procrastination

I’m going to write a blog post about procrastination while I procrastinate! Obviously not the most responsible idea, but it’s whatevs.

I have a huge project for architecture due on Monday. It’s Saturday, and I haven’t even gotten to the second half of it.

Procrastination is no new thing for me. I have had it chronically and long-term. I am probably one of the worst procrastinators in my class of 30ish. I just never have the motivation to do stuff on time and cannot focus while in studio class to work on it during the day. Purpose is something that I need to work on. Also my work ethic could be improved upon…

And, picking this up now 4 months later. Whoops. I definitely have a problem.

And again, now it’s 5 months later from that. Man I started this in February 2016 and it’s November!

…Shoot. Picking this up again, and it’s actually September of 2019. It is horribly ironic and self prohesizing to have started a blog post on procrastination and not even continued to work on it until literally THREE YEARS LATER. That’s insane but also, so me.

A lot has changed in my life in the past 3 years, I’ve graduated university, with a moderately good GPA (3.5) and started working full-time in the architecture field at a firm I really love. But I wanted to continue this unfinished business and finally finish this blog post.

The Act Art of Procrastinating

Procrastination is said to be an emotional processing complication. When procrastinating, I am supposedly avoiding processing something or not facing a fear. I believe that this could be true, and I acknowledge that maybe I need to address it to improve my work ethic and live a mentally healthier life. Will I do it, though? That is the question. Maybe I should go to therapy or something.

Anyway, procrastination can also be the mark of a perfectionist. A perfectionist is someone who would rather make something to perceived perfect standards, rather than making mistakes or letting something go half-baked. I think I used to be a perfectionist, but I’ve definitely let my standards go a little looser, since my last few years in college. Which totally doesn’t explain WHY I am still a master procrastinator!

There’s something in my mind that fundamentally wants to avoid the difficult work and mind hurdles of solving a complex problem. While in my conscious mind, I would like to thrill in doing just that, in my unconscious mind, something is holding me back. I’m not sure what it is, but for now, I suspect that it is laziness. Why am I so lazy, what am I avoiding? Quite often, I don’t want to take the mental effort and energy to put real good thought into something. I know I have the capability and even the skill or aptitude to do it successfully and well. But why am I shying away from instigating these thought processes?

Maybe it’s a belief system that I have that I should take the easy way? Maybe it’s cognitive dissonance. Maybe I fear failure (a Hermione Granger fear btw) or not measuring up to expectations, either self-set or expectations of others on me.

Anyway, I’m a full-fledged adult now, with rent and health insurance, and a full-time job and life of my own. I need to kick it into gear, figure this stuff out, and work hard for the rest of my life until I can eventually retire. Ha, wish me luck with that!

Is there any unhealthy habits that you wish you could change about yourself?